Living aimlessly

In the world today, with all of its ease, many have difficulty setting up for success. Most people see wasted time and effort gone through useless repetition that they don't bother at all. However as you grow older you tend to focus on a routine. Somethings just won't change, unless something drastically diffrent from the norm occurs. These life changing moments are opportunities to think outside the box. Speaking from within the box that's something you have to evaluate on your own. However when evaluating these ever changing moments, you must remember a few things. Where you are in life. Where you want to be in life. And finally how to get there.

The first step is always easy. I'm sure you already have your reply. The second step is where I have difficulty, but to try and defend myself I think I'm still in the "trial" faze. Its just there doesn't seem to be an end to it. I'm still young I can waste time trying things out and see how I cope with it. Unfortunatly I seem to be very good at copeing with stuff, even really important stuff that may seem simple to you, like what I want to be. A simple answer always arises in my head when I'm asked that question, I've never replied it out loud. Me! I want to be whatever I am.

Yea... Right now I've got a desk job that I could train a monkey to do... Yea I'm not feeling challenged by life at present... Still I'm set up for the future. Even if I'm unsuccessful at achieving my short term goals. I still have back up. It's not my own back, but it's definitely up, way up. And I'm tied to that with blood. Stronger than any imaginary chain or what have you.

So…why am I here, if not for myself, then what. It's seems it's for someone else. I've learnt that it's not a big deal if you live for someone else. Take their dream and make it your reality. Live up to all the impossibilities that is the imagination. It's not that it's hard. It's deathly boring. I've tried to grow an immunity to boredom. Engaging my mind by myself when no one else is around. Feeling satisfaction, guilt, and everything that's between. Strengthening my emotion, yet never acting on them, bottling up hiding deceiving life and everything including me.

When I see people who genuinely care, and try to do something that will change reality. I feel both sad and happy… because they are living a dream. Employ these moment they will not last, you will come to your sences and never regret that you lived in that moment amd though unseucsessfull was the best.

I don't have new ideas, no new anything. I'm one within billions that just is. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not sad. I cope, it is what it is, that's life.